Geared up

Today was horrible yet important. Now that I know, It was all up to me to decide my own fate.
' When I marked your paper, It was scary.' Vaguely, roughly, Mr chew said that to me. I'm not going to say any remark for what he had commented. Because, I can tell you, I had already agreed with him, Even I was scared the hell out of myself when I was attempting to the paper. No words can described how I felt when all the words came pouring down on me, when I was called up twice for meeting the teacher. That feeling.. will become my motivation my believe. I never want to feel that way once again, not again. I will..
Clench my fist,
bite my lower lip,
push myself forward.
I don't want to give up yet.
I know what exactly the words meant- A harsh encouragement. Now is that it is up to me to decide how am I going to accept the words, comply or back down. Deep down my heart, My answer was clear, There's no way back, I'm going to continue no matter what happen. Lynn told me,' Come on say I can do it.' Because of tears, I didn't manage to force it out of my mouth just now. Now, I dare to say it loud and clear. DAMN IT I CAN DO IT, JUST WATCH IT! I am going to try and ban myself from any rewards, I don't deserve it, Not until improvements shown.
I'll..
prove it to you Mr chew, I know I can do it.